When The Smoke Clears

Lately I’ve been looking at the pieces of the puzzle God has given me. I’m to feed the homeless and last year I was at a food pantry. Standing in line at 6am, (open at 9) it was cold and people I probably wouldn’t speak to were in line (oops did I think I was better?). I marveled that some people really needed this and was thankful. Some people had made a science of it and was going to visit another outlet when they left here. All and all they all were nice (rude awakening). Me…I could have skipped a meal or two but I honestly knew God was showing me something. I pulled up into my apartment complex and asked a total stranger who walks for exercise, if she could use any food. I had more than enough and didn’t want to waste the food. She burst out in tears and shared how she had asked God, how am I going to make it this week?
See I have to believe that all that I’ve been through, has been for God to know, if He can trust me. He knows this is not my plans for me but will I freak out and wallow in a pity party (had many of them), will I blame someone else (what’s your number)! Will I just go through the fire and learn about ME. God knows I can take it, but I didn’t. When you get pass what people say or even think about you. When the smoke clears…you see you still standing! The beatitudes use to baffle me. What you mean turn the other check, for them to hit me again??? Steal my jacket…give them my overcoat, now that’s a challenge. I thought it was all literally, but I’ve found it can be spiritually as well. You tell me what I do for God in the church, should be out of love. But you pay your family members everytime the church doors open. Smiling faces, smiling faces, mine was glued on. Let people walk over me cause I thought it was the right thing to do (keep the drama down). People ask the darnest questions! God said just cause they ask, doesn’t mean you have to answer them. God took my use to be, anger issues and said you wanna be like me…then never say a mumbling word. I cried show me how….years later I have master what He said. I can actually walk away from lies, my personal business blurted out by a trusted source. I’m thought to be a wimp by family and closest friends. The joy is the twinkle in my eye, as I feel Him say, good girl! I’ve seen Him destroy spirits in others by me walking away. My tongue will never be organ donor material (to many teeth marks). I did tell one lady, look I’m just one prayer away from a relapse, so you best leave me alone.
What I’m trying to say is never compare your life or relationship with God with someone else. Every Chapter in the Bible has a specific name, a specific assignment, a lesson learned, believe something happened and only God knows it’s purpose. When your life is not going as you thought, and you can’t make lemonade. When the smoke clears, do you still Love HIM!

Yours Truly,
​Peggylynn