How to KNOW you are in a bad relationship........
I know that emotions can be very controlling, once they grow - they can take over when not put in check from the beginning. It's difficult to hear (and accept) the truth about things when your emotions are high. They can steal all your attention and blind you or insulate you from facing the truth of the situation: for many different reasons. Eventually it becomes difficult to hear what God is saying to you about the matter, because your emotions are so strong, and 'speak' even louder. It can be scary for some to begin entertaining the thought of breaking up and being alone, starting over (and the list goes on...). God doesn't allow us to be blindsided completely. It's a necessary habit to seek Godly counsel, and to seek Him first. Somewhere in the beginning, He exposes the truth. Yes, we all make mistakes. Yes, most of us meant well. And, just had good hopes of having found someone special. And so on. But.......is there anything you missed?
Signs of a bad relationship:
1: Settling - with lots of doubt.
Yes we all have faults, but do you really get along?? Or, are you staying in fear of 'change' or being single/alone; staying for companionship, because you have a child together, insecurity or lack of self-confidence, etc. Fear about something, lack of peace, or being uncomfortable a lot, is usually your answer::: "No". Choose God's will (more peaceful and natural) than your own (doubtful and afraid).
2. You're making too many excuses!
"I do love him". "He's a good guy, he just needs to change". Or, again: because you have a child together, have been sexually intimate, or don't want to be single/alone. Breaking up can be hard to do. But it is possible! All those excuses, and still remaining in the relationship leads to having no joy.
3. Abuse - mental, physical, or emotional. Don't be target practice for someone's baggage they carry from their past. If their baggage is released are you and it is abusive, red flag! Run. We can't change anyone; only God can. Please don't subject yourself to deception willingly - because I believe that's where control comes in. It's only a downward spiral from there. In fact, if anything rude or disrespectful is happening on a consistent basis:: run. Do what's 'right' now, to protect yourself later!
4. Many friends and family members are concerned.
A couple? Ok, I might can understand. However, when just about everyone sees something peculiar or 'not quite right' with who you are dating, it might be worth taking this into consideration and seeking guidence from God, asking Him to show you what you need to see (if so).
Those are just a few. Wisdom is doing 'now' what brings gratification later. It also means that after you leave the relationship you shouldn’t go back! Please don't choose to ignore the unrest in your spirit and continue on with a person you "don’t think you can live without". We shouldn't keep justifying staying in a relationship that we will wish we had abandoned later. Let's be concerned more with honoring God than him/her. And, wait on His timing. Have faith he will send the right one, and there will be no dysfunction, anxiety or unrest attached with it. God will heal the heartbreak, sadness and disappointment that can sometimes linger from a breakup. He is always there!
Lord, I ask you to show me when someone is not meant to be in my life. Lord, I want you to grant me with acceptance in your strength to do what is right in your eyes. God, I know you want what's best for me. Any emptiness war brokenness from my past and past relationships, I asked that they be healed now according to your Word. Your Word says that by your stripes I am healed (Isaiah 53:5). Heal my broken heart and sadness, in Jesus name (Psalm 34
:18). Give me the strength to trust you wholeheartedly, and press towards the bright future that you have given me. You love me, and will never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). Your Word also says that you would hold nothing good from me (Psalm 84:11) and that you also cause all things to work together for my good (Romans 8:28).
Lord, send the person that you have hand picked for me. I will wait and trust in you (Psalm 27:14)! Amen.
About the Author
Davina is a working mother of three, who believes in introducing the true love of Christ to those she encounters, and desires to give the gift of this love to those in need that God has lead her way. She attends The Point Church of Trotwood, Ohio. She is a member of Young Women In Ministry, and is also an avid baker! See her treats at http://www.deesdelightsforyou.com